A Dental Routine So Much Better It’s Stupid

When you’re obsessed with finding products and systems that, dare I say it, “spark joy”, sometimes you find that “the best” is a very subjective term and is largely dictated by taste or circumstance. Sometimes you find out that “the best” barely edges out the competition and you hope something better comes along. But sometimes, sometimes you come across a “best” that is so much better than the competition it’s stupid. This product owns first, second, and third place in the rankings then takes a smoke break and still wins.

After the Home Maintenance Checklist, it probably won’t surprise you to learn that my desire to suss out these “bests” heads so deep into the mundane so as to include oral health. I stumbled on a book about how cavities are formed and being a total weirdo I bought it and read it cover to cover, then read some more, and some more. And as I went through, the best method of prevention became more and more obvious to me and I was shocked that it wasn’t just the standard advice from the dental industry. Certain ingredients, certain chemical properties, certain behaviors, all have been proven to have strong effects. It didn’t take that much research to coalesce it into a top tier routine. Here it is.

Morning
- Use a non-fluoride mouthwash.

Day
- Chew a xylitol-based gum.

Evening
- Floss.
- Brush with a soft-bristled electric brush and Sensodyne Pronamel Toothpaste.
- Use ACT Zero Alcohol Fluoride Mouthwash and DO NOT RINSE WITH WATER.

Using this routine took me from a guy that cringed when my water was too cold to one who eats ice cream with my teeth first in the snow. And it’s done the same for everyone I’ve introduced to it. I was due for a dentist appointment just as the pandemic started, and the fear associated with that kept me away from the dentist for a full two years. When I finally went back, my dentist, just like every other one (I moved a lot) since I started this routine praised my tooth and gum health, found no cavities, no problems. Because this shit works. Let’s break it down.

No brushing in the morning? No. Don’t brush in the morning. This is probably the biggest mistake most people make. In a vacuum, it’s better to brush more often, but you don’t live in a vacuum. You drink coffee. You drink juice. You smoke. You eat breakfast.

When you take an abrasive to your teeth like toothpaste or the acid in your coffee and grapefruit, you put your teeth into a temporarily vulnerable state where damage can happen and caries can develop. So by trying to prevent damage, you’re actually creating the opportunity for more to occur.

That said, bacteria has likely built up in your mouth while you slept, so removing that is important. A non-fluoride mouthwash will be sufficient for this task. The one I linked is the strongest one on the market, but honestly people’s mouths react so differently to non-fluoride mouthwash ingredients, just find whatever one works best for you. The active ingredient in this one makes some people temporarily lose their sense of taste entirely or causes temporary tooth staining. Alcohol-based washes dry out some people’s mouths and cause bad breath. I’ll keep looking, but I have yet to find one that works well for everyone.

Xylitol is a widely-used zero calorie sugar substitute but it also has the added benefit of creating a hostile environment in your mouth for harmful bacteria which has difficulty metabolizing the sugars. And while the overall effect isn’t enough on its own, xylitol-based gums like Epic or Quip are an excellent bridge solution to provide a small amount of debris removal and to prevent bacteria growth between more deliberate care in morning and night. Plus you won’t look like a psycho brushing your teeth at the office. Yes you look crazy doing that AND as described at the beginning, it’s probably doing more harm than good.

Floss. I get it, flossing is a pain in the ass, but you gotta do it. Plus, I found a tool to make it way easier. That Quip floss pick gives you all of the ease-of-use of a plastic floss pick but with the minimal waste of traditional flossing. Make sure you’re making contact with your gums and getting between each tooth. This not only dislodges debris, but also disturbs the space and makes it difficult for plaque or minerals to build up.

For brushing, any soft-bristled electric brush will work, but I really like the form factor, refill convenience, and timer functions of the Quip. It’s small enough to easily be used traveling, doesn’t take counter space or a plug, and the replacement heads show up at your door automatically so you never let that gross worn-out head go too long. The timer function gives you 30 second reminders to switch mouth quadrants and then shuts off. I don’t know about you, but need all the hand-holding I can get at the end of a long day.

Sensodyne Pronamel Gentle Whitening is straight up flat out the best toothpaste on the market and it’s not even fucking close. It’s not close. If you do nothing else in here, switch to this toothpaste tonight. I’m not gonna explain myself, you need to trust me on this. That first, second, and third place winner I was talking about? This is it.

Finally, another clear best: Act mouthwash. The relief that washes over my dentist’s and my kid’s dentist’s face when I tell them we use a fluoride mouthwash is crazy. They know it’s a key to overall dental health, it’s been proven over and over. Act has the most fluoride of any wash on the market, but because of that you should only use it once per day. I recommend using it at night after you’ve brushed (and put your teeth in the vulnerable post-brush state) and not rinsing the mouthwash out with water. Leave it there, let it work while you sleep.

I promise if you follow this routine you’ll see reduced tooth sensitivity, fewer cavities, and more boring dentist visits. Don’t you want your dentist proud of you? Yeah you do. Why do we all want that? It’s kinda weird. But we do. I’m not a doctor and this isn’t medical advice but this shit works. I’ve seen it have drastic enough results on enough people to know I’m right. Give it a try. Worst case you can always go back to whatever bs you were doing before. Enjoy this useful thing.